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  • “From Shame to Empowerment: How “Fast Tailed Little Girls” Affects Black Women’s Sexuality and How Sex Therapy Can Help”

    When I was growing up, I remember hearing the phrase “fast tailed little girls” all too often. I also remember being accused of being a “fast tailed little girl”.  It seemed to be thrown around as a way to shame and belittle young girls who were simply growing and developing into their sexuality. As a result, I internalized a sense of shame and fear around my own sexuality, as if there was something inherently wrong with me for simply getting older and experiencing new desires.

    Unfortunately, I know I am not alone in this experience. The concept of “fast tailed little girls” and the purity culture mindset that often accompanies it can have harmful impacts on Black women’s sexuality. It can lead to internalized shame, fear of expressing one’s sexual desires, and difficulty in developing healthy relationships. It can also perpetuate harmful stereotypes and contribute to a lack of understanding and acceptance of diverse sexualities within the Black community.

    So why don’t we talk about this issue more openly? One reason may be that discussing sexuality is still often seen as taboo within the Black community. It is also important to recognize that purity culture is deeply intertwined with systems of oppression, including patriarchy and white supremacy, which can make it difficult to address and challenge.

    However, there is hope. Sex therapy can be a valuable tool in helping individuals and couples explore and understand their own sexuality in a safe and supportive environment. It can also help individuals break free from the harmful beliefs and expectations of purity culture and develop a more positive and healthy relationship with their own sexuality.

    At Melanin Sex Therapy, I recognize the unique experiences and challenges faced by Black individuals and couples when it comes to sexuality. I am committed to creating a safe and inclusive space for individuals to explore their own desires and create a more positive and empowering relationship with their own sexuality. If you or someone you know is struggling with the impacts of purity culture or “fast tailed little girls” mentality, we encourage you to reach out and seek support. Together, we can shift the narrative and embrace our sexuality with confidence and empowerment.